[the right decision i made in my life] ♥, Thursday, November 22, 2012
i get many negative news from a friend that you're unsatisfied me.Actually i won't really mind what you are trying to critic me but seriously i felt so disappointed to you.i knew that was my bad that i mentioned break up to you at first.but then i can't get any reason that you sing bad of me at my back.in your heart,do i really a such person that you think?if your answer is yes,i'm so disappointing to you.
You are telling that i'm cold bloody to everyone.yes!!i admitted.No matter is to her or to you.i admitted i am.i'm not the perfect person plus i'm born from cold bloody family.i'm so regret to be with you in that one year plus if you think of me in that way.I don't found any reason that i still need to be with a person that is not suitable for me.i need a guy who really can understand what i think, what i need but not a bf who only blaming me after i drunk,scold me that i'm shameful his face after i get drunk.
i'm so regret to fall for you, be with you. but then the only thg that i nv regret is i leave you.this is the right decision that i made ever.bye forever and ever.
Ψ[name] ♥ AMAZED US AT
8:23 AM
[Hati tawar] ♥, Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Every year also the same bad thg happening to me.i kinda hate that every bad thg that happened on me when I bday.honestly I never ever in bday mode b4 within this 22 years.
I felt I'm jus a toy/maid in this family.no ones understand me.she will know to scold me,nag me but never ever concerning me.treat me jus like a maid.i knew I shouldn't think negative way.but have u ever stand on my side think for me?the ans is NO!u only will noe to concern ur son.u scare he's getting hurt and ask us not to scold him.as a same mother of the child,did u exactly be fair to both ppl?i oso is ur daughter,how come that will be so different to others?i started to work since I was 19.i applied loan for my degree tuition fees.bus fees I pay myself.wat a bout him?can u be sincerely tell me that u r fair to both of us?i can tell u directly that's u r not!!i knew u r sick,I nv meant to hurt u,but then bring a friend back slp over.for me is just a small deal.i dun find any reason u need to be so angry when I bring fren back jus for lending few hours of ur room.ur son bring soooo many ppl back slp but u nv scold him. Is that called fair?
Seriously I really feels like moving out from this house at this moment.i din found the meaning to stay at this hs anymore.hati tawar!!
Ψ[name] ♥ AMAZED US AT
7:01 AM
[] ♥, Saturday, November 17, 2012
Ytd I went club with friends.erm..how's the feeling?at first I will feel superb scare,but ended up I feel superb great.i quite like the feeling that a gang of stranger guys dance with me and suddenly stay close to me.omg!!i guess I fell for club ad.at first I really dunno how to dance but after drunk a bit I cincai dance and relax myself and I do attracted a handsome guy come over dance with me.i suddenly be so daring to hold his hand and put tightly to my waist.seriously I didn't noe he is so leng zai and I push him away from me when I feel sth wrong that he kiss to my face.im so regret now.lol.
I just feel so fun to be in club!!i wanna go again.
Ψ[name] ♥ AMAZED US AT
8:12 AM
[] ♥, Sunday, November 4, 2012
i am in dilemma now.=(
recently i was freaking busy even though i already done my assignment but i'm still need to rush for training and weekend working.i feel super duper exhausted.this few days i really feel like crying.i dunno why.but i do have this kind of feeling.i knew that not bcoz of him but i really cant stand this kind of pressure.honestly, i dunno whr the pressure comes from.i just feel superb tired of all the thg that happened surround me.
tdy i drive my sis car to work.i had my breakfast with my colleague.after enjoyed the meal.i back to my work place work and my fren back to his place work.when lunch that time i really gt no idea why suddenly i feel like driving all the way straight to the place that near my house and jus simply i didn't noe what i want to do.im in super dilemma situation now.
Another cases is i knew 1 of my friend last time was go after me and now he knew i single ad.but i still chatting with him without notice mayb i will let him misunderstand me again.=(
seriously i really dunno what i doing recently.
i feel like crying kao kao!!
Ψ[name] ♥ AMAZED US AT
7:38 AM
[] ♥, Thursday, November 1, 2012
wohoooooo~!!!!finally i done the last assignment-SFM!!!!feel so happy,excited.i planned to enjoy after i done all the assignment.Tdy is the first day of November,feel so fresh and excited with the outing on November.
November is my birthday month. this year i really got no idea can enjoy with who, but every year i didn't expect too much on my birthday.Plus, i just broke up with bf. I'm sure there is a lot of people dulan me,critic behind me, but then i wont care about what they think of me. i just want to be myself.
I was damn unhappy recently due to him. after i sent him break up message,i didn't reply him any message. i knew i was hurting him but short-term hurting him better than long-term killing him. every message he sent me, i read it and i treat it nth happened. what he scold me seriously is damn hurting me. but i'll be strong to accept it since i'm the one mentioned 'break up' to him in advance.
Recently i received a lot of message from him. he requested me to be friend. Honestly, i do not have the courage to accept this deal. Past experience told me that is no such thing 'break up alrdy still can be friend'. i didn't plan to accept this deal and my friend surround ask me not to be so cruel. I listening to my friend and give him another chance to be friend. Finally i replied his message told him i'll be friend but i emphasized clearly that that is impossible to be bf and gf relationship alrdy. Somemore i wishing him can get a better gf in future but he refuse to accept it. I busying with loads of assignment, the pressure was really killing me that time but i still have to spend time to settle this problem. i really exhausted. i telling him i wanna busy with my work but he saw me online with fb and said i was cheating him and trying to avoid chatting with him. that time i really cant take it he judge me in that way and i use a very bad sound talk to him and refuse to be friend with him. he started to scold a lot of thg and call me.i do not want to answer his call and i do feel want to reply him any message. that time i was too angry till i posted a status on my fb, i purposely wanna let him see it.
"
if you're trying to provoke me.well,u did it!!started from this moment,i'll disappear in your life.bye!!"
he scold me with rude words in fb. That time i really dun feel like talking to him anymore. After i cooling down, i thk and thk. That is not necessary reach this worst situation and i replied him again and talk nicely to him. Conclusion, i manage to keep a friend relationship to him. But then i don't think still have chance to talk to him. i want to give him more time to chill himself and let me go.
Anyway, now i just want to enjoy my single life!=)
Ψ[name] ♥ AMAZED US AT
6:11 AM
